From the unpublished children’s book, Look Dick, Look Jane, See Sally by Flex Malarky of West Chester, PA:

 

See Dick.

See Jane.

See Dick and Jane hold hands.  Dick and Jane like each other.  Dick and Jane enjoy each other’s company.  Dick and Jane are friends.

See Dick say, “Jane is my friend.”

See Jane say, “Dick is my friend.”

See Dick and Jane be happy.  See Dick hold Jane.  Sometimes, Jane likes to hold Dick.

See Dick and Jane talk to each other every night on the phone.  They Tweet one another.  See Dick say, “I like to Tweet my sweet.”

See Jane say, “I like sweet Tweets.”

See Dick fall in love with Jane.  See Dick say, “I love you, Jane.”

See Jane say, “This is all happening too fast.  I need more space.”

See Jane explain how she needs Dick out of her face.

See Dick give Jane more space.  See Dick spend more time with the guys at the bar.  See Dick call Jane less.  See Jane miss Dick.  See Jane want to see more of Dick.

See Jane want more Dick.

See Jane call Dick and say, “Dick, we need to talk.”

See Dick say, “Something wrong?  I’m giving you the space you asked for.”

See Jane say, “Dick, I’m confused.  I think I’m in love with you.  I don’t know.  I care about you so much and I’ve missed you lately.”

See Dick say, “What are you trying to convey to me here, Jane?”

See Jane say, “Nothing, Dick.  Never mind.  Forget I even called.”

See Dick and Jane hang up.  See Dick and Jane become angry. 

See Jane.  See Jane cry. 

See Jane say, “Why is it so hard for me to admit that I love Dick?”

See Jane think.  See Jane throw open her apartment window and scream, “I love Dick!”

See her neighbors standing on the street below.  See them mutter, “We know, Jane.  We know you love Dick.”

See Dick.

See Jane.

See Dick and Jane walking in the park.  It is Saturday, and the two went to the park to take a walk by themselves.  See Dick and Jane bump into one another.

See Dick say, “Hi, Jane.”

See Jane say, “Hello, Dick.”

See Dick and Jane look into each other’s eyes.  See Dick and Jane laugh.  See Jane say, “Dick, I’m so sorry.  I was falling in love with you and I was trying to control my feelings.”

See Dick say, “But why?”

See Jane say, “Because I thought you didn’t care about me.”

See Dick laugh.  See Dick say, “You’ve got to be kidding!  I was the one falling in love with you and you were the one who didn’t care!”

See Jane say, “I want things to work out, Dick. I love you and I’m willing to take a chance on getting hurt.”

See Dick laugh.  Laugh, Dick, laugh.  See Dick say, “That’s all fine and dandy, Jane, but I’m not in love with you anymore.”

See Jane say, “What?”

See Dick say, “You blew it, babe.”

Look Dick, look Jane, see Sally.

See Dick wrap his arm around Sally’s tight waist.  See Dick say, “Jane, I’d like you to meet Sally.  Sally, this is Jane.”

See Jane say, “But I love Dick!”

See Sally say, “I love Dick even more.”

See Jane say, “You suck, Dick.”

See Dick and Sally walk away.  See Jane kick a rock. 

See Jane say, “Ooh!  I hate Dick!  No more Dick for me!”

And the moral of the story is:  Because Jane reacted with her mind and not her heart, she ain’t getting Dick!