A hair doctor who is not only bald but has obvious plug scars on his crusty scalp?

A dermatologist with golf ball sized pimples, blackheads, Psoriasis and dandruff?

A male OB/GYN who salivates?

An orthodontist whose mouth and teeth resemble Gomer Pyle’s?

A marriage counselor who, during your first session with him, receives a phone call from his divorce lawyer?

A daycare instructor whose favorite movie is Patton?

An 87-year-old man who gives out enemas for Halloween?

A psychiatrist whose desk is covered with photographs of his mother?

A podiatrist, whose hands are covered with warts and 3^rd degree burns, recommends burning the warts off your feet?

A movie critic who says, “Any movie starring Ben Affleck is a must see?”

A politician who says, “If elected, I will cut taxes!”?

The president of the Mom’s Club who doesn’t have any children (not after that “accident with the kerosene heater”)?

A male nurse who says, “Turn your head and cough” more than once?

A male boss who says, “So you want a raise, huh?” as he unbuckles his belt?

A lifeguard wearing floating devices around his arms?

Michael Jackson with your 8-year-old son?

Bill Clinton with your 16-year-old daughter?

Martha Stewart with your stock portfolio?

John Kerry with the future of this country?

George W. Bush with the English language?

A TV meteorologist who says, “And now for the 10-day forecast”?

An accountant who chuckles as he reviews your W-2’s?

An accountant who leaves his office for the day and returns to house arrest?

Martha Stewart’s accountant?

An armless man who says he’d love to lend you a hand?

An OB/GYN who doesn’t know what OB/GYN means?

Your proctologist, who just before he exams you, says, “Boy!  I could really sink my teeth into a beef taco right about now!”?