From the White House on the evening of 10/31/11

 

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA:  …and then after another round of golf I figure we can go sailing with the girls.

MICHELLE OBAMA:  Do you think it’s wise taking another vacation, Barack?  I mean, it’s been so soon…

OBAMA:  …since I announced we were bringing the troops home?

MICHELLE:  No, so soon since our last vacation.

OBAMA:  Honey, we’ve gone over this time and time again.  I can vacation between now and Christmas and I still won’t come close to George W. Bush’s vacation time in 2005.  Listen, how about if you decide which golf courses I should play?

*DING DONG!*

MICHELLE:  I’ll get it.

(She opens the door and we see a family of four.  The man is holding a toddler girl and the woman is holding hands with a little boy.  All are dressed shabbily.)

MICHELLE:  Barack, look!  We have trick-or-treaters! 

OBAMA:  How nice!  Are you dressed as a hobo family?

MAN:  Actually, we’re the middle class.

WOMAN:  My husband and I have been out of work for over a year.

BOY:  I told my mommy and daddy that you’d be able to help us, President Obama.

GIRL:  We’re hungry.

OBAMA (grabs a plastic pumpkin bowl filled with candy):  How about a Milky Way then?

MICHELLE:  Barack!

OBAMA:  A Kit-Kat?

MAN:  How about a job?

OBAMA:  Listen, I know times are hard.  I get it.  Every time I golfed on my multiple vacations this year I heard it from my caddies.  But I’m working hard to make things better for you.  I just got a bill passed that will help lower your mortgage!

WOMAN:  We lost our house last month.

MAN:  We need jobs, Mr. President.  We need you to stand up to John Boehner and the Republicans.

WOMAN:  We need you to stop touring the country and making speeches…

MAN:  We need you to get the Democrats and Republicans together and get some real work done!

(Pause.)

OBAMA:  Honey, these are the worst trick-or-treaters ever!

MICHELLE:  No, they’re not, dear. 

OBAMA:  What do you mean?

MICHELLE:  I was just informed that there are 5,000 “Occupy Wall Street” protesters headed up the driveway.

OBAMA:  Uh-oh.  We’re gonna need more Snickers.

GIRL:  Can I still have that Kit-Kat?

(ALL look at the little girl and laugh.  Freeze scene and roll end credits.  As credits are rolling, the little girl jumps out of her daddy’s arms and grabs the pumpkin bowl.  She runs off.  Her daddy sees this, looks around, and grabs Obama’s wallet out of his back pocket.  He takes the cash, drops the wallet, grabs his wife and son and runs off.  Obama and Michelle are left, frozen and smiling as the credits continue to roll and the scene fades to black.)

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!